This post was inspired by Topic 32 from Topical Tuesday´s My Year Competition Challenge. I will not be entering of course, because I can design a site for myself anytime.
Then I was invited to spend a few months living in the Findhorn Community in Scotland. It was a life changing experience. I discovered my passion for the Environment, which in turn lead me to discover GeoSciences.
For a long time I have held the ambition to live abroad. This came to fruition in the latter part of the decade. I found my beatiful but now OAP horse a new home with a really nice lady, packed my bags, and left for pastures new. I had some knowledge of the language and, unlike most Brits who relocate abroad, I had plans to master the language. Especially when I rapidly discovered I had seriously over-estimated my capabilities.
The next few years were plagued with problems – financial, personal, cultural… Good times were had though. I met some interesting people, I ate some seriously awesome local cuisine, and I spouted off to my hearts content about Brits who failed to mindle with locals. I mingled, a little too well on occasion I believe.
In 2008 I added domestic violence to my list of experiences. I also miscarried twins, quite far into the pregnancy. I pulled through although I am still battling to keep the gentleman in question out of my life. It seems he doesn´t concider domestic violence a cause to end a relationship.
2009 saw me once again return to website design and, finally, I am making a go of it – helped significantly by a far more profressional attitude to my work. I am developing a loyal clientbase and am now helping those who are not technically minded run and maintain their blogs without having to worry about updating, upgrading, backups or error messages. I deal with all that so they dont have. Its quite fun actually. In fact my blog maintenance clients are taking over my schedule by a significant margin!
So, I have looked back. What about looking forward? For the new decade I have some serious plans. Not only do I plan to return to UK, probably Southern England, but I also plan to try and find work in a design studio. I´d love to broadan my horizons and develop my skills. Even if that means a tiny wage.
I would also like to further my interest in Geo & Environmental Sciences.
Thats it for me. If you´d like to consider taking part in the current competition challenge take a look at Topical Tuesday.
This post was inspired by Topic 32 from Topical Tuesday´s My Year Competition Challenge. I will not be entering of course, because I can design a site for myself anytime.
As I wrote my entry yesterday I realised just important my archives are to me. I had previously deleted them, in a mad symbolic gesture to mean I was moving on and leaving the past behind. But the past defines who I am today, and to a certain extent I will never leave that behind. So, I am returning the archives gradually, but only the select entries that I still have tucked away.
Yesterday I left off where I mentioned the significance of animals in my life. I have always loved animals, and I love nothing better than to sit and watch Nature Programmes, Steve Irwins old programs… The bio-diversity on planet Earth fascinates me. We live on such an amazing planet, don´t you think?
My love of animals lead me to become Vegetarian again in 2001, and eventually to follow through and become Vegan in 2002. The only problem is, despite researching diet and nutrition more thoroughly than I had done since my last attempt (at 14) I once again became severely anaemic. In the end I was forced to abandon my attempt and return to the land of guilt ridden meat eating. I have ethical issues with the idea of eating meat, no matter how natural to the human condition it appears to be. This is worsened by knowledge and experience of working with animals, and knowing just how poor the actual meat production process is. At the moment I try to only eat organic ethically produced items, but I know that once I return to the UK I will probably return to Veganism once again. I generally try to avoid drinking milk anyway, and prefer to drink Oat/Rice or Soya Milk. I do love Cheese however, especially Feta, and Vegan Cheese never quite lives up to expectations!!
January 2003 started off really well. I broke my leg on the 25th January 2003. I´ve survived more falls off horses than I can count, usually without injury (though admitedly with some painful repercusions). My broken leg, rather ironically, was a result of climbing down from a stack of straw. How humilating. The coming few months were a nightmare as Mum and I struggled to look after two highly strung horses with little or no help from family, friends or fellow owners.
Late October 2003 see me returning to university yet again in a vague attempt to complete my History degree. Only years later do I realise the reason I cannot complete it is because I´m not all that interested. I love to read about the past, especially Medieval History, but to study the subject is a different ball game entirely. By this time I have already been to four universities and frequent utterings of “She has the intellect to go far, but lacks the commitment to complete” start to appear in reports. Most recently I realised that the only reason I chose to study History was becase a lecturer told me I had a talent for it, and so I steam rollered ahead and chose that subject to pursue to university. Its a self-fulfilling prophecy of its own kind, gone wrong. I did have a talent for it, I can waffle extremely well in Historical babble. I just don´t enjoy doing so, and ask any of my friends and they will tell you. Eliza has a very short attention span.
So I never completed that History Degree. I had my Equine Science one completed of course, which is really worth the paper its written on, really…
I played at formalising my qualifications in Website Design & Interactive Media, eventually finishing by doing it part-time.
I´ve found my niche now however, but I will discuss this in Part III.
In 2004 my Mum was d¡agnosed with Breast Cancer and I had a breakdown resulting in three months in Hospital. 2004 was hard to endure. When the cancer treatment was over I, well, I brokedown. I spent Christmas 2004 and New Year 2005 in Hospital. I was suffering from severe depression, and for a while at least, various Doctors debated diagnosing Bipolar. I lost a lot at that time. I had been working in design for sometime, I had built up a steady income from design and hosting. I lost nearly all of it because there was no one there to pick up the pieces when I was incapable. For a while at least I also felt I had lost most of my friends.
During this Sam, one of the Jack Russel´s we bought in 2004, was given away to a new Mum. Jezebel was sold on. Both with my consent.
The next five years was spent piecing all that back together. Depression would return, but this time in moderation and I could cope.
Thats it for Part II. Part III tomorrow.
This post was inspired by Topic 32 from Topical Tuesday´s My Year Competition Challenge. I will not be entering of course, because I can design a site for myself anytime.
In just over a year I will have been blogging a decade, not consistently, but blogging all the same. The last ten years have been difficult and I cannot say with any degree of honesty than I have derived a great deal of enjoyment out of them. Its a shame when one looks back and feels that way. I have had my moments, but they were brief and altogether too infrequent.
I have always maintained a written journal. It has, like my blog, been neglected and cast aside more times than I can count. But every so often I will draw it out and write my most personal thoughts. Once or twice, when people have happened to come across it, there have been problems and a great deal of hurt caused as a result. In order to complete this post I read over many of these journals. It was difficult.
The funny thing is I remember the 31st December 1999 like it was yesterday. Maybe this is because it was such an important event – the conclusion of a century. I stood in the window of my home and watched the fireworks fill the sky at the stroke of midnight, and I cried. I cannot say why, I was not depressed that night, I was expectant and hopeful that this century would be full of new discoveries and wonder. I was planning to return to university.
I had a horse. He cost a small fortune to buy and a large fortune to maintain. I know now that I should have sold him and cut my losses then, but emotion has always guided my actions. In the case of my beautiful Irish Sports horse this was definitely the case.
The highlights of the coming years were meeting some of most amazing people, some of whom I am proud to refer to as friends to this day. Sarah, poor girl, has had to tolerate me for a long time! Its hard to believe we have been friends for a decade! Others I still hear from occasionally via email or facebook – Iain, Keir, and Andy. They were the guys who made the opening to the century special. Sarah, Keir, Iain and I spent one rather boozy weekend in classy Blackpool!
The year 2001 saw me once again guided by my emotions when I purchased an undernourished Romany Cob. She was in a very poor state, and basically looked like a skeleton covered in patchy black and white hair. She was weak, listless and covered in lice. I almost walked away from her because I believed her beyond saving, and then the most amazing thing happened. She raised her head proudly, turned, and trotted round the field. The movement was the most spectacular I have seen in a yearling. She was beautiful. Problem is by the time I returned with the horsebox her condition had worsened and for a long time it was touch and go. But we won, Jezebel and I, we beat the odds together. I am proud to say she is now a healthy, happy ten year old with a new Mum. I am proud of that achievement. The vet told me that another day without help and she almost certainly would have died.
The beginning of the decade saw a new passion enter my life – website design. It all began when I started my first weblog. By absolute chance I fell upon the blog Tinmanic.com and was immediately fascinated. I started my own blog the very same day, although with considerably less success. Such as I am I was not happy to simply have a standard template, I had to learn how to make them. The early years, much like today (and this current theme) was a course of trial and error. I bought books on design, css, php, colour usage, and eventually graphic design and Photoshop. I was, and still am, obsessed with knowing more. My first blog was powered by Blogger. I soon became frustrated with its unreliability and lack of performance and moved to Movabletype. Then PMachine, Expression Engine and most recently Wordpress. I have used Wordpress most consistently, but rather ironically only recently on my personal blog.
One of the most consistent aspects of my life during the last ten years has been the presence of animals. Be they horses, hamsters, cats, dogs, rats or guinea pigs – they have always been there. During the course of the ten years here are the animals I have loved and sadly, lost.
Hamsters : Geraldine, Griselda, Georgie, Little Guy, Wombat, Jordan, Gemima
Rats : Hansel, Gretel, Merry, Pippin, Buffy
Guinea Pigs : Colin, Gerald, Esmae
Horses : Irish Pryde, Jezebel
Cats : Kypa Filleta
Goldfish/Catfish : Grotty Gilbert, Gregory
South American Tree frogs :: Pip & Squeak
Dogs :: Joe, Sam
Out of all them Joe is with us. Sam lives with someone else. Jezebel has a new Mum. The rest are long gone.
Part II tomorrow. Now I have to return to work!
Side note :: The current theme has numerous errors. Sorry, its very unprofessional of me I know.
This entry was inspired by blog meme Topical Tuesday and its current topic 3D.
3D is making a comeback again. Terrific. Immediately my gut reaction, another Hollywood money making gimic created to make us look as idiotic as we actually are. Its the same old thing brought back time and time again, with just a marginally new angle. Granted there is a lot of positive feedback, but still I am inclined to believe it is little more than a cinematic way of parting us with our hard earned cash.
The notion of 3D is appealing, but it never fully lives up to expectations. Not entirely anyway. I have the residing nightmares from watching Jaws in 3D, thats enough to last any sane individual a lifetime. News of a Halloween 2010 3D. Hmm, a barely concealed way of drawing people back into the genre.
I hate to be the cynic, and whilst the notion does have appeal for certain movies, it just grabs me as a gimic to draw a declining audience back into the cinemas.
Something that really is exciting is next weeks idea for Topical Tuesday – and its a special edition for all those nanowrimo participants and followers. If you want to know more you´ll just have to check the blog on Tuesday now won´t you?!
This entry was inspired by Topical Tuesday´s latest suggestion!
Funny this topic should crop up at the moment, particularly because I have been staying up into the early hours working on various projects I have in the pipeline. Problem is I am not a person who can really sleep in. Regardless of what time I go to bed I wake up at 8am. Maybe it was because for years I owned horses, which meant an early rising every single morning at 6am.
First thing on a morning when I wake I am unable to eat. Even the thought of food will repulse me, and as for the smell, well… If, on rare occasions, I am hungry and try to eat I have problems with “texture”. I will have a coffee or tea, depending on how tired I am. Recently I have been drinking “cafe solo” like its about to go out of fashion, purely because I am so tired all the time.
I´ll shower. During the summer months, with the disturbingly hot weather, I tend to have a nice refreshing cold shower. I love it. Absolutely bliss after a hot sweaty night… In winter a longish hot shower is equally welcome.
After that, as someone who works from home, I head over to Carrefour and buy myself a fresh loaf of “pan rustica”. About mid morning when I finally am released from the horrors of food I have tostada con aceite y sal. A wonderful spanish tradition, since they too rarely have a true breakfast till mid morning. Except on a Sunday when I celebrate with “churros y chocolate”. Thick spanish hot chocolate is the best in the world as far as I am concerned. A wonderful rich dark chocolate, beautiful and thick that coats everything you dunk in it. Great on the taste buds, not so great on the hips.
This entry was inspired by this weeks topic Past, Present & Future over at Topical Tuesday. Now you have all week to take part! Do it, now!
Where were you ten years ago?
Ten years ago I had just graduated from university (give or take a few months) with a pointless qualification in equestrian science. Everything I earned was being spent on a horse who, since purchase, had proved absolutely unfit for purpose. At this stage in my life I was still clinging to the childhood dream of becoming an event rider. But I was blinded by adoration for the horse and so persisted, and it was to prove my undoing.
I was spending far too much time on a certain student site, which is where I spent Sarah, a short while before. This year, I am reminded, was the year we also met in the person!
Ten years ago I was not especially geeky. I loved computers, but had yet to become totally hooked on them – this was to come a little later.
Where are you now?
Having discovered my inner geek I now spend my days creating websites for other people. Its a living, but at the moment, not a very good one. I am in my early stages of re-starting my business after a period of sickness.
It´s not easy when you are struggling with bouts of chronic depression. A few days ago I came to the decision to delete all my old files, a symbolic move to represent a fresh start – both on my blog and in my life. Not off to a great start, but I´m sure I can have a point or two for good intentions.
Where would you like to be in ten years?
When I was 16 years old I had my life mapped out. Needless to say things didn´t exactly run according to plan. I never became an event rider, and never attended Guildhall School of Music & Drama (hell, I never even applied). Needless to say I no try and map out a life plan, on account of being much older and wiser cynical.
Ten years from now
- I will be coping with bouts of depression and will have, finally, put the past behind me.
- I will have continued to improve my skills in website design, but it will no longer be my main occupation because…
- I will have graduated my degree in Geo & Environmental Sciences and maybe even continued on to complete my masters.
- Better still I may even have written the book I have been planning for the last sixteen years.
- Microsoft will have created an operating system which actually works and Internet Explorer will have been phased out entirely.
- Bill Gates will have had an unfortunate accident when his Microsoft powered automobile crashes, and he is presented with the ultimate blue haze of eternal damnation.
Think you can do better? Let us know where you were, are and intend to be by partaking in this weeks Topical Tuesday
Topic: #26 Is it Christmas already?!
Before I begin I would like to post a quick note about recent developments over at Topical Tuesday. In the early days when Topical Tuesday was born, it was decided that every Monday evening a new topic would be posted for participants to ramble about the following day via their blogs. No consideration was given to those poor unfortunates who hold down steady jobs and actually manage to factor a life in there as well. Now we have realised this we have decided to make Topical Tuesday last all week! That is to say a new topic will be posted every Tuesday, for you to contemplate and ponder on all week. Hopefully, at some point, you will manage to set aside five minutes to join us by writing a post.
On I go.
I am atheist. I don´t believe in God. For that reason Christmas is not a period for celebrating Christ´s birth because, rather ironically, I don´t believe in him either.
The reason I celebrate Christmas is quite simple. Not only am I fond of a jolly old shindig, enjoy a present or two and a nice tot of alcohol with my pudding, but I also love my family. I celebrate Christmas essentially because they do. Christmas, for me, is all about family and friends. It’s about celebrating the continuance of life, and the feelings we share.
When I was a child Christmas was about getting together and sharing a good meal. After which we´d be subjected to the Queen´s speech and endless movie / TV re-runs. With the turn of the century Christmas has become a massive marketing event, with tailored goods hitting the shelves as early as October. The simpler Christmas is lost amidst a mad rampage of Christmas shoppers and spoilt children demanding their XBox360. The sparkle of the traditional Christmas still exists, the merry dance of Christmas lights, the smell of mulled wine and spiced orange, and the turkey sizzling away in the oven – it’s just a lot more difficult to find underneath all the marketing camouflage.
Meme: Topical Tuesday
Topic : Time Capsules
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Trivial to some maybe, the time capsule has infinitely more meaning to others. As a past student of History I would find it infinitely fascinating to discover what people had put in time capsules. These can be invaluable historical sources, primary evidence as we call it. What would you put in yours?
A Rock
That´s right. Your eyes do not deceive you, I would put a rock in there. In my view, a very special rock. I bought this rock when I was about ten years old from Brimham in Summeridge, Nidderdale, UK. It was the beginning of a fascination with Geology and my love for wild and unruly landscapes. Brimham Rocks is 50 acres of wild and wacky shaped rocks formed naturally over thousands of years. It is, in my view, one of the most stunning places in the whole of Yorkshire – closely followed by Malham. Both places I visited a lot as child, when I would go hiking.
USB Drive
Full of all the things I believe are representative of me – the designs I have created, the words I have written, and the photographs of the most important things in my life (past and present). See below for further information on the photographs.
Photographs
A fairly obvious but no less effective way of demonstrating those things in life which are most important to you, or in this case have been. My mother and my best friend would feature first, especially since they are one and the same person. It seems rather cliche to say ones mother is your best friend, but in this case it is true. My mother is, and always has been, untraditional. The mother role, she claims, never came naturally to her, and so we moved on from the standard mother/daughter relationship when I was in my early teens. She has always been there for me, through the bad times especially (of which there were many). We have an unsual relationship which, like all relationships, has its up and downs. I love her more than anything.
Other photographs would be::
- My JRT Joe, my little dog.
- The four horses I have owned during the course of my lifetime. Although horses no longer feature largely in my life now there was a time when I lived and breathed them. In with these would be the numerous trophies and rosettes I won competing horses when I was younger, in addition to a lock of the hair from Tom´s mane which I have kept for 19 years.
- Places I have lived. Travel has always been an important feature in my life, which has lead me to live in two countries. I dreamt of moving abroad for years, truth is it was only when I did that I realised the place I was happiest was Scotland. I love Scotland, with passion. It has a mystique of its own, and is a truly magical place.
- Me & my friends. Images from an insane weekend in Blackpool
The notes from my novel
The novel. The one I have been trying to write not for over ten years, and have still not succeeded (and for some reason I doubt I ever will). The main character, a rather obnoxious teenager, is so vivid to me. I find her story will play out in my mind even when I am not subconciously trying to work on the book. On a morning, when I wake, I find myself jotting notes that I intend to put in the book. Confidence is my weakness. I do not feel I have the strength of words to do her story (note not my story) justice.
Music
A sample of music I have loved. Coldplay, Travis, The Verve, Stereophonics, Snow Patrol, Manic Street Preachers would feature largely. Also a lot of music from the 60s and 70s. Early Beatles, David Bowie, The Rolling Stones…
What would you put in your Time Capsule?. If you want to take part please visit Topical Tuesday – subscribe to the feed, follow us on twitter or via the website.
Welcome to Topical TuesdayTopical Tuesday – a new meme where we try and get people to just discuss topics on their blogs. Topics are posted on Tuesdays. Post your thoughts and opinions on your own blog! Pass it around!
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Topic :: The Time to Tell Them
You are invited to write a blog entry, a letter or even a poem (if that’s your thing) to someone. This someone could be someone you know very well or it could be a stranger you met briefly but who had a great impact on you. It could be to your partner, your parents or your high school teacher who believed in you. It could even be to someone you have never met before but whose actions you read or heard about and changed the way you see something. Your post should be about how they affected you and how one thing (maybe even more than one thing) they did, big or small, gave you strength, inspired you or changed your life. Tell them how you feel and how much they mean to you. It doesn’t matter if you have told them before, do it again
Dear A,
I remember your face so vividly – those twinkling eyes, and laughing smile most of all. You had the most amazing skin. You always smelled so good when you gave me “dos besos”. Thats what I remember most about you. That, and your enormous heart.
I had seen you in the bar a few times during the course of the first month there. I thought you extremely handsome, and extremely funny. But you first approached me on my lowest day. I had been mugged, and had lost a great deal of money. You came up and gave me a dos besos and a hug, and told me that I had friends now, and I wasn´t alone. You never once broke that promise.
I have so many good memories of you. Most of them centred around the bar, when we would play games. There was the time we were really silly, and spent a few hours playing by the bar when you had finished work. I kept sneeking up and knocking your hat off. We really made people talk that day, and subsequently your girlfriend became less than friendly.
People were so sure we were more than friends. I spent so much time arguing the contrary that I never stopped to consider that maybe they sensed something we both didn´t – or chose to ignore. You were always so loyal and good.
You winding Dave up when France was beating England in the football. You were so proud to be French. You and M dressed up as women for the yearly festival. You both looked more feminine than half the women in that bar, especially M.
Remember the fancy dress party? I didn´t have a costume, and you rescued me, and we dressed as Geisha´s. You were very drunk A! The date was the 7th of March 2008. We won the fancy dress. You behaved like a complete loony, but it would not have been as fun without you. You were the life and soul of any party or bar. For the first time I sensed that maybe there was something between us. We were walking from your flat to the bar, arm in arm. You were telling me what a fantastic person you thought I was, I was so busy thinking how I wanted that moment to last forever.
Two weeks later I found you drunk outside the bar. You told me it was the anniversary of your son´s death. You were in so much pain. I sat and talked to you for two hours, convincing you that you had everything to live for. You kept saying you wanted to die too. That you had nothing to live for. I am glad you told me that you wanted to live the next day, because of me and what I had said.
Two weeks later, to the day, (the 7th of April 2008) I was sat outside a house with dozens of people, equally desperate for news that you were alive inside that calapsed cave. We waited, and waited, as various rescue teams attempted the delicate task of finding you and M amongst that rubble. The cave was very unstable, and it was a dangerous job. I saw you come out, I knew it was you because I had heard that you were closest to the door when the cave calapsed. I knew you would come out first. Even seeing you and M being brought out in body bags did not prepare me for the news that you were found “sin vida”. To this day I still cannot handle it being said about you. I heard the news you were dead around the same time we entered that bar dressed as geisha´s just a month ago 10:32pm.
I went to the viewing. M was in a closed casket, although he had an Orthodox blessing and so we saw him when they blessed his face. You were in an open casket. I am afraid I broke down. Various people thought you looked asleep. I think they must have been seeking comfort, because for me, the essense that was you had gone. It was just a shell.
The day of the viewing the only comfort I could find was a recurring memory, which I treasure to this day. Its a simple one, but it was the last time you, M, S and I were together. S was behind the bar , stood at the corner. M, as usual, on the opposite side of the bar, but stood at her side. I was stood next to M´s side, and he as usual was taking the piss out of me whilst flirting with S. I looked up, and you were stood at the far side of the bar. You looked at me, smiled and winked. This was Saturday night. We were happy to be together, completely unaware of what was to come.
It took your death to make me realise that there was some grounding to those rumours. The saddest part was that a note was found a short while ago, from you to me, telling me how you felt. It was the same. I miss you so much. I have left the town now. But I will never forget my Frenchman. I just wish I could hear you sing “I believe I can fly” once more. You were a terrible singer A, but no one sang it like you.
Welcome to Topical Tuesday – a new meme where we try and get people to just discuss topics on their blogs. Topics are posted on Tuesdays. Post your thoughts and opinions on your own blog! Pass it around!
Topic :: Religion Education in Schools
What is your stance on compulsory Religious Education in Schools? Should any school be allowed to chose to teach creationism over evolution?
What is your stance on compulsory Religious Education in Schools?
As a devout atheist I am set firmly against Religious Education being a compulsory subject in schools. Coming from a strong multi-cultural / multi-faith area I do believe that some form of education is essential, but only so far as to promote understanding and tolerance. I believe that a subject dealing with the theory of belief [including atheism, agnosticism and humanism], without the pro-religious and anti-science bias, could provide a useful tool in enabling children to converse with people who have beliefs differing from their own.
Should any school be allowed to chose to teach creationism over evolution?
No. Intelligent Design is not a legitimate scientific theory, and therefore has no place in a Science class. Creationism is the idea that humanity, life in general, the world and the universe were created by a god. In the vast majority of settings the creationism we face in the west is the idea that the Christian God created life and the universe. Evolution on the other hand is a theory, first put forward by Charles Darwin and later refined by scientists such as Gregor Mendel, that plants, animals and humans naturally adapt to their surroundings. Creationism is grounded in belief, it is not based on factual scientific evidence. Whilst theories of evolution may be relatively young in the great scheme of things, it is grounded in fact, and can be justified with scientific evidence. To this date I have seen no scientific evidence for the theory of creationism, and as such it has no place in a Science class. Creationism belongs alongside RE.